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  • Tara Leyden

Acceptance

Meditation can help you have an acceptance of even the most adverse situations that are thrown at you.


Many spiritual teachers talk of acceptance, acceptance and welcoming our reality no matter how unpleasant it is. Often I've spoken to other people about this, and it's a difficult conversation to have because some things that happen in this world are so very painful, that you can not imagine ever being able to accept them.


This is a little chapter in my life of a painful situation I chose to accept.


In February 2006 I lost my brother very unexpectedly. I remember the day like it was yesterday. I had been to an estate agent hoping to get a house valuation booked in. On returning home, I pulled into the driveway, my husband at the time, Marcus, now amazing friend was stood at the front door waiting for me. He was looking at me so intently and I knew right away something was wrong. As I climbed out of the car and walked towards him, he spoke softly, "Tara, I'm so sorry to tell you this, your brother has died." I stared at him in disbelief, almost Immediately I felt numb, shaky, the words he had spoken did not feel real and my head was spinning...how could this be, he was only 32!


I walked straight past Marcus, into the lounge where I sat on the arm of the sofa. My eyes were welling up and I must have sat there for a good few minute's in a state of shock. My thoughts were all over the place, why? how? when? I'd never see him again, and my parents, their pain! But even as I sat there trying to absorb what I had just been told I knew there was no changing the situation...it was what it was, my brother was no longer here.


I wasn't into mediation practice back then but I did have a way of accepting certain situations where there was no possibility of changing them. With that acceptance I looked at Marcus and said, "we need to get to my mum and dads" and with that, I ran upstairs, started packing a few things. I phoned my mum and dad who were living separately at the time. My mum was already on her way up to my dad's house so that's where we headed.


The following two weeks were a busy time but accepting the situation as it was enabled me to take much of the pressure off my parents and with the help from Marcus, we both helped plan the funeral giving them the time to grieve. Without acceptance, I would have struggled to be able to make good choices, venue, flowers, write a eulogy etc.


The acceptance I had, did not mean I felt no emotion or pain, of course I did! But I accepted it all, my brother's death, how it happened, the sense of loss, my tears and my sadness. Through all of it, the hardest part for me to endure was the thought of my parent's pain, I can't imagine anything worse than losing a child!


I'm not telling you this story for sympathy, but so that you can see, I too, like everyone, have had experiences in life that have been painful and challenging, we all have and many of them. We cannot push away the painful situations...the resistance itself causes more pain.


“The resistance to the unpleasant situation is the root of suffering” -Ram Das


When we resist or fight against any uncomfortable situation it can cause us to react, which more often than not, leads to more upset and an inability to be able to cope. Acceptance does not mean we can not do anything to help unfavourable situations or that we become a doormat, acceptance is accepting a situation for, 'what it is' and 'how it is,' we then see more clearly, gain a better perspective and it gives us the ability and the strength to act more calmly and wisely.😊


Meditation can help with acceptance because it is about letting everything be just as it is in the present moment...with regular practice you learn to become aware of your feelings and your emotions, that awareness can help you stop fighting the events in life and your various responses to them.


If you would like 1 to 1 coaching on a difficult situation you may be resisting or struggling to come to terms with...then please reach out to me to see if meditation can help your situation. I would love to help you reach a new place, life is too short to be in constant suffering.🧘‍♀️🧘‍♂️💜


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Weston-super-Mare

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